She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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