she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
