everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
