Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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