I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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