Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I just found puke in my bra..
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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