you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
