you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
