I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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