Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i think i have two assholes
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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