Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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