she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
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