i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
