Will you blow on my dice?
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
