If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
