there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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