my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
