this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
