imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
