Don't you send me to vm
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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