I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
