your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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