you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
All the doctor said was why
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