Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Randomize
