idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize