I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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