I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I can feel your judgement through the phone
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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