I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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