Your favorite bartender is back from prision
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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