She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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