we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Randomize