I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Floor bacon is actually really good
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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