Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
