he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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