well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Randomize
