I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
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WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
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I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
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