ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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