I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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