we made out on top of his cat.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Alive.
So much puke
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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