how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
