No awkward lesbian experiences without me
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
