um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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