U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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