So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
