The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
