Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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