Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
