Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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