Come see our sink grown plant.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Can I color on your dick again?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
