i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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