After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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