im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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