I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
