you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
