i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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