You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
