I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
When are your genitals available?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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