She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize