Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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