awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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