I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
