Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
