I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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