So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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