kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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