Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
My dick has a subreddit
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
