have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
