who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
