Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
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Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
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I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
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