I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.