My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"