found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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